By Nethara Dias
Times you talked behind my back
Laughing at me with your “real” friends
And then laughing with me as though nothing happened
Thinking I was blind.
She lost me the day I stopped waiting for her dry responses.
It’s my fault, I took her seriously.
I let her in but she let me down
And that’s why it hurts
I learnt my lesson
Not everyone can be let into our tomorrows.
Time never fails to expose a person
Which is why I had to let her go.
I would often stand on top of the staircase
Gazing at all the people down below
Who are all having great conversations filled with laughter.
And I realized that I was lonely.
I have always been the person who loved to stay alone.
Silence gave me answers
Smile was the best answer
Quietness was the best reaction
But this was different.
I wanted to feel included
Walking through the noisy corridor,
I knew I belonged nowhere.
That’s when I met a person,
Who was curious about me.
He made me laugh
Even when I felt the world collapsing.
A few months into the friendship
I finally began to feel included
There were some obstacles which
We overcame without making any amendments
I learnt a lot through all friendships
Most were lessons from friendships which didn’t work out
Their personalities peeked out of their masks at my worst
They taught me to look for the right place that values me the most.
I was asked “Why are you friends with him and not her”
And I replied “He would always be there for me”
“Even at your worst?”
“Even at my worst.”
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